Final

I had a couple of ideas of what I was going to write about tonight but…something came up.  So there’s this instead.  I’ll save the others for some other time.

Some folk are aware that I have been going through a divorce over the past year.  Today, I checked the court status and found that the case has been decided.  The court has accepted our mediated settlement.  The divorce is final.

I am…of very mixed feelings about this.  No, I don’t really miss anything from the marriage.  That was…what it was.  I am, however, very wistful about what might have been.  One factor is that I was raised Latter Day Saint.  I’m not a believer any more, haven’t been for a good number of years now, but some of the early conditioning remains.  One part of that was that I was raised with the idea that marriage is forever, not just “until death do you part” but forever “For time and all eternity.” That didn’t happen and, so, a significant part of me sees that as a failure on my part.

But…it takes two.

So, as I said, very mixed feelings.  Really mixed.  All over the place mixed.

So let’s let some music express some of those feelings.  Like I said, they’re all over the place.

But, in the end, I suppose we have to let go and move on.

“There’s more to live than just you.  I may cry but I’ll make it through.  And I know that the sun will shine again, though I may think of you now and then.”