Privilege Bingo

So I saw this over on Larry Correia’s Blog (who mocked it well, but let me add my two cents as well):

Of course, the purpose of this is to have folk like, well, me, wringing our hands in guilt over just how “privileged” we’re supposed to be because of our melanin deficient states.

Cry me a river. Let’s take a look at that, hmm? I’ll start by just taking the “bingo” card and treating each “cell” as a line item and just count up the “points” from things that, personally, count as my “privilege.” So let’s begin:

Native English Speaker –Okay, got this one. Score 1.

Both Parent Went To College – Unknown. My mother did two years of college (which, perhaps counts for this purpose) but I have no idea what the stepfather I lived most of my childhood with did. Don’t know offhand whether my natural father went to college (could find out by asking his wife) but…probably doesn’t matter for this purpose since I had no contact–actually thought he was dead–from when I was 3 until I was in my thirties (although the Wokies would likely count it anyway). Call it half a point. So 1.5 so far.

Never Worried About Food – Any number of times I wondered where my next meal was coming from. I remember a time when we lived on “civil defense” soda crackers and hard candy. Other times when if I wanted protein I had to catch it from the creek, and the fish often weren’t biting. No points So, still at 1.5.

Drive/Get Driven To School – Except for very brief periods, I walked. The brief periods involved taking the bus. I hated taking the bus. I was bullied in school (late bloomer physically, so always a scrawny runt, with “unusual” interests like science and stuff) and taking the bus was just another opportunity to be bullied. No points, still at 1.5

Employed This makes no sense. Employment is not “privilege” but accomplishment. So I’m not going to count any points for this and point and laugh at the idiots who came put it on this list. Still at 1.5

Comfortable Walking Outside Alone – I could make jokes about “Eww, people. Eww, sun” (being goth and all) but really, it comes down to you haven’t lived in some of the places I’ve lived, I guess. So…no points. Still at 1.5

White – I could snark that according to my DNA tests I’m as much African American as Elizabeth Warren is Native American. Could also point out that including your conclusion (that “wypipo” have privilege denied to others) as one of your premises is fallacious. But I’ll go ahead and give myself a point for this: 2.5 total so far.

Parents are Married – Hmm. That stepfather was an abusive alcoholic. Was living with him for a large part of my childhood really “privilege”? Was it privilege to lie in bed at night listening to him screaming at my mother and in the morning see the ceramic lamp that he’d broken over my mother’s head? I’ve given “benefit of the doubt” to this list in that “both parents went to college” thing but, nope, not going to do that here. Still at 2.5 points.

Born In Country of Residence – Not just born in the “country of residence” but born in the most awesome country in the world (however much people like the creator of this list are trying to ruin it). So…yeah, I’ll take the point. In fact, I’ll take two. 4.5 points.

No Speech Impediment – I have an occasional stutter. But, more importantly, I get tongue tied around others (or, worse, go into “verbal hemorrhage mode”). I can gear up to power through the situation in certain circumstances where I’m prepared to talk on a particular subject (science fiction convention panels being an example) but without that I have definite difficulty talking to others. So, again, no points. Still at 4.5 (not kidding about taking 2 for being born in America).

Heterosexual – Okay, yeah, the same privilege something like 90% of the population has so we’ll take the point. 5.5 points.

Christian – Nope. Agnostipagan, or Asatru leaning Agnostic. Take your pick on the label. I’m a practitioner of Norse Paganism without exactly believing in the gods of Norse Paganism. It’s complicated. But what it’s not is Christian, or anything like Christian. Still at 5.5 points.

Free Space – Oh, there’s a free space. So they give folk one point of “privilege” just for being there. Ok then. For the free space, we’ll take the point because Free Space, Free Nation, and America is just that awesome. (Yes, this works out to three points for being born in America). 6.5 points.

Feel Safe Around Police Officers – Um. I am a long time believer that the Iron Law of Bureaucracy* has long run its course for police departments. “Feel safe” no. Take steps to be safe? Absolutely. See the Chris Rock video on “How not to get your ass kicked by police” (it’s on the Tube of You and I’ll link it here). Still at 6.5 points.

Mentally Healthy – I’m going to be pretty candid here. Depressive, Possible autism spectrum, avoidant personality traits which might (haven’t worked that out with my provider on that yet) rise to AvPD. So, no points here. Still at 6.5 points.

College is the Expectation – Again, how is this a matter of privilege? It’s a choice. But, funny thing is, I’m a big proponent that not everyone should go to college. There are trades out there practically begging for individuals with a good work ethic to use their hands, and their brains, to make stuff. My daughter decided not to go to college, preferring to instead turn her artistic talent to tattooing and I applaud her for that. So, no points here. Still at 6.5 points.

Never Been Racially Profiled – Just was. But that aside, have you ever been a white person in certain neighborhoods? Or an Irish person in certain areas in England? I’ve experienced both of those. I’ve been let go from jobs because of having the wrong skin color. (Temp agency sent me over, manager said “nope, don’t want whitey.”) No points. Still at 6.5.

Feel Represented in Media – Does being the bad guy count since that seems to be the standard representation of white liberty-minded men in movies and TV these days? I’m going to say no. Fortunately, I can identify with people who are not. like. me. Frankly, people who are just like me living lives just like mine, facing the same problems I face are about the least interesting things to read about/watch on screen. So…no points. Still at 6.5.

Able-Bodied – Let’s see, I noted above I was a “late bloomer” physically which always left me smaller and weaker than my peers growing up. And now, I’m 61 years old with bad knees and shoulders. I work my ass off, finding workarounds to those limitations to remain active, relatively fit, and healthy. Those are choices, not privilege. No points. Still at 6.5.

Military Kid – Both my natural father and my stepfather left the military before they became whichever version of “father”. Still, how does growing up in an environment where you get uprooted every couple of years to move somewhere else, live in generally substandard housing (I’ve lived in military housing) and generally have a difficult, miserable life, count as “privilege”? No points. Still at 6.5

Have Your Own Bedroom – Shared a room with my sibling until I was in my teens. No points. Still at 6.5

Involved in Extracurricular Activities – Once again, choice, not privilege. Seriously? And in my case, the only “extracurricular” activity I tended to be involved with was sitting in my room reading. Again, no points. Still 6.5.

Cisgender – Gasp! A privilege I share with 99%+ of the world. Color me privileged here. So we’re up to 7.5 points.

Never Lost A Loved One – Seriously? There are people out there where no. one. in their lives has died? My great grandmother certainly counts as a loved one. My aunt Pauline. My grandmother. Then there were beloved pets. You can’t tell me they aren’t “loved ones.” So…again, no points. Still at 7.5

Male – Okay, this appears to be even more privileged than cisgender because it only applies to just under half the world’s population. One has the privilege of being more likely to die on the job, more likely to commit suicide, more likely to suffer job related injuries (even if the job doesn’t kill you), more likely to die or be maimed in combat. So count me in. 8.5 total points.

So, out of 25 items, including that free space, I rate a total of 8 and a half. And that’s counting “being born an American” as three of them. Let’s see how the scorecard looks:

The pink circle is the half point. The big circle in “born in country of residence” is counting it twice (and a third time for the free space). O, look, if only I were able bodied I’d be able to call bingo but, nope, no bingo there. And that’s with several of those items not being matters of “privilege” so much as choices one makes and a couple of things that are utterly ridiculous to count as “privilege” in the first place.

So, chuckles, you can take your insinuations and assumptions of “privilege”, fold them so they are all sharp corners, and shove them where the sun does not shine.

And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

No, actually. I don’t.

*The Iron Law of Bureaucracy: In any bureaucratic organization there are two types of bureaucrats–those dedicated to the goals of the organization, and those dedicated to the organization itself. The Iron Law states that in every case (and I do mean every case) the second class of bureaucrats will take control. They will write the procedures and control promotions within the organization. Yes, that includes the police bureaucracy. There are good and decent police officers out there but they are not the ones “driving the bus” as it were. Forgetting either side of that is a mistake.