Dark Armor

Very short one today on a personal observation.


In one of the “Goth” groups over on the Book of Faces someone posted a “meme” about feeling more confident when dressed “Goth”, that the clothes were their armor.

I find that a very good description actually.

While I have mostly dressed very basically–black t-shirt, black pants or jeans, black or purple nail polish–of late I have started to “dress up” more.  At first I had dressier outfits to wear for “special occasions” and kind of lamented the fact that I didn’t have a good excuse to wear them.  Then I came to a realization:  I didn’t need a special occasion.  I could wear them just because I wanted to wear them.  I didn’t have to dress for anybody else–especially not for strangers at a club or other public gathering.  I could “dress up” simply to please myself.

And once I started doing that, I found something remarkable.  Oh, sure, I’ve talked about my issues with social interaction in the past, that I don’t get social cues, that I get tongue tied (possibly related–I don’t know what to say because I don’t understand the cues to know what “type” of conversation we’re having), and as a result I have major, major social anxiety.  Well, not entirely as a result.  I think those things feed into each other.

That said, when I dress up, I find that the anxiety level goes way down.  Sure, I still don’t get social cues.  I still get tongue tied.  I’m still extremely introverted.  But those things create less stress.  Being around other people uses fewer “spoons”.  The fancier dark “gothy” clothes really are a form of “armor”, shielding me from those intangible stresses

When I dress up, I am simply happier and more comfortable in my own skin, in my own clothes, in my own dark armor.

3 thoughts on “Dark Armor”

  1. I wonder how much that is from the changing others expectations or such (or the belief that they are changed). I recall a bit of advice that the ideal was to know the ‘standard’ mode of dress for an event or area, and then go ‘one step up’ from that. Thus, perhaps khakis or such and button shirt instead of jeans & t-shirt… but a three piece suite would be excessive and a tux would be way over the top. Sort of a ‘calmly superior’ (might wrong/poor term) vibe without seeming desperate for attention?


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